Violence does not begin after several years of coexistence. On the contrary. At the beginning of the partnership, some signals of violent behavior are noticeable, even if they are insignificant. We often overlook these signals, justify them at first, and believe that the abuser will change through love.
Relationship violence is not an unknown concept among young people. As many as a third of young people around the world between the ages of 13 and 17 say that they themselves or their friends have experienced violence. In surveys, one in ten girls between the ages of 17 and 22 admitted that her boyfriend was beating, humiliating or restricting her.
Be vigilant if your friend:
- insists on a rapid rapprochement in the relationship;
- is extremely proprietary or jealous and justifies it by saying that it is an expression of his love for you;
- is sometimes nice (especially in front of family and friends) and sometimes vulgar (especially in private) - has a mask - double face;
- checks your phone, emails;
- promotes stereotypical views on the roles of men and women (gender roles), speaks contemptuously about women;
- criticizes your appearance and actions;
- humiliates you, yells at you, manipulates you;
- wants you to give up your activities and hobbies;
- insists that you do not spend time with relatives or friends;
- grew up in a family where violence occurred;
- has attacked or beaten someone in the past;
- does not take responsibility for its actions;
- often drinks and uses drugs that make his behavior aggressive, and then justifies his behavior by being under the influence of alcohol and drugs;
- threatens to commit suicide or murder (eg if you leave him);
- blames others for their failures and difficulties;
- has derogatory remarks about others;
- losing control of his actions, is impulsive, waving outbursts of anger.
The occurrence of several signals to each other can be a sign of violent behavior, so do not ignore this Reality. If you are not feeling well in a relationship, it is better to end the relationship as soon as possible, because your friend - the rapist - will never change.