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Violence in a relationship

It`s important to know about violence in relationships - it`s important to know how to recognize it, to know the warning signs, how to stop it, to know what to do and where to seek help.

First loves, first dates, first relationships… They are not always associated only with pleasant feelings. Not all relationships are harmonious and equal. And what appeared at the beginning as a manifestation of romantic love may in fact be a manifestation of jealousy, control and isolation, a manifestation in order to gain power. Maybe you feel that way about your friend. You may be wondering when it comes to violence in a relationship. Is it only when your friend hits you? Violence is not just a battle. It can hurt you "only" verbally (by various swearing, humiliation, threats, shouting) or constant control, restrictions, prohibitions, orders, etc. However, this psychological form of violence can escalate very quickly to a physical form with serious health consequences. Violence is a behavior that causes you to fear, and out of fear you submit to your friend.

Your friend may be mistaken:
• that he can and has the right to control you;
• that the man should assert himself with his aggressiveness;
• that when he walks with you, you belong to him (you own his property like a car or a mobile phone);
• that you are obliged to obey him; if you do not do so, he may punish you;
• that it may require tenderness, sex,
• that he has the right to interfere with your appearance, dress, behavior, etc.

Violent partners do not recognize the boundaries in a relationship, the boundaries of their girlfriend. For them, love is synonymous with ownership. The rapists think they have a right to their behavior, and they justify their behavior with that right. They feel that they are better, more superior than their girlfriend, that their relationship entitles them to control, direct, order something to their girlfriend.

These ideas are incorrect. Your friend has no right to demand anything from you that is uncomfortable. Violence in a relationship is not normal. Jealousy, domination, possessions and aggressive behavior do not belong to an equal relationship. If you happen to find a violent friend, you need to seek help and leave the relationship.

Every woman has the right to live without violence!
There are a lot of boys in your area who don`t use violence in a relationship, but will respect and accept you! Don`t hurt yourself, respect yourself!

Violence is not easy to talk about. It `s even harder about relationship violence because it hurts someone you love, who knows you intimately, who you care about. The silence that surrounds your relationship needs to be broken.

It is necessary to talk about violence. Trust your friend, parent, teacher or call us. You should leave the friend who`s hurting you. A boy, a man who commits violence will not change. Unresolved violence is getting worse. Neither your violent friend will change, nor because of his endless promises. Not even your love for him and your constant adaptation will change him!

The rule of a healthy relationship is open communication, in which neither of you exercises power and control over the decisions in the relationship. An equal healthy relationship has its characteristics. In a healthy relationship both:
o mutually respect and do not control each other;
they discuss without fear and do not feel threatened when expressing a different opinion;
o decide freely on their activities, their future and their family;
o freely express their thoughts;
o they refuse to do things they don`t like;
o Expect equal relationships, where both take and give;
o Expect any sexual behavior to be on their mutual agreement;
o They know it doesn`t mean no and they don`t force sex by violence;
o know that any violence is unacceptable;
o they make concessions and realize that they are not losing strength or position if their views are not the same;
o they do not resort to threats, attacks and violence when they want to achieve theirs;
o They know how to face feelings of anger and frustration without being blamed on the other.